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PHYSICAL ABUSE  includes pushing, slapping, hitting, throwing objects at someone, throwing them against the wall, floor or funiture, physical restraint, severe beating, and threatening or actually using weapons agains someone.


PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE are used to make someone feel insecure about themselves and helpless to excape further abuse.  Threats of additional or future abuse and an atmosphere of fear are prevalent.  Many victims report that the emotional abuse actually feels worse than physical abuse.


SEXUAL ABUSE means being forced to take part in any sexual behavior that you don't want to do, and can and does happen even among spouses.


DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY AND PETS is a less direct form of abuse.  Children have reported that parent has killed their pet before their eyes. Adults have had entire collections destroyed by their partners.
ECONOMIC/FINANCIAL ABUSE is a very effective means of keeping someone in an abusive relationship.  Many women are not allowed to have any money, use the checkbook, keep money they earn themselves, or know what bank their accounts are at.
THREATS AND INTIMIDATION are effective and require little effort.  A common threat used is taking the children away and proving s/he's an unfit parent. S/he may threaten to physically abuse the victim if s/he doesn't do what s/he wants them to do, or if s/he tries to leave.


Identifying Abusive Relationships

Does your partner: 

  • Embarrass you with bad names and put-downs?

  • Look at you or act in ways that scare you?

  • Control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go?

  • Stop you from seeing or talking to friends or family?

  • Take your money or Social Security, make you ask for money, or refuse to give you money?

  • Make all the decisions?

  • Prevent you from working or going to school?

  • Threaten to committ suicide if you leave?

  • Tell you you're a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?

  • Act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault, or even deny doing it?

  • Destroy your property  or threaten to kill your pets?

  • Intimidate you with guns, knives, or other weapons?

  • Shove you, slap you, strangle you, or hit you?

  • Force you to have sex?

  • Force you to drop charges?

  • Threaten to kill you?



If you answered YES to even ONE of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. 


If you need to talk, call APOC at


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